“Possibly humans can exist without actually having to fight. But, many of us have chosen to fight. For what reason? To protect something? Protect what? Ourselves? The future? If we kill people to protect ourselves and this future then what sort of future is it and what will we have become? There is no future for those who have died. And what of those who did the killing? Is happiness to be found in a future that is grasped with blood stained hands? Is that the truth?”—Lacus Clyne (Gundam Seed)
Why? Why him? Why did he do that? Why does it hurt knowing that he did? Why do I care when it’s not even my business? Why do I still like him? Why do I even like him in the first place? Why did I even have to hear that? Why do bad things always have to show up whenever I start to like someone? Why?
Just when I started liking someone again, just when the day finally came that I actually look forward to being in my Geometry class because he was there, things always have to ruin it.
Yes, I like him. I like him to the point where I turn to a girly-high-school-girl-blushing-madly whenever I see him and to the point where I write a 100 Things I Like About Him on a piece of paper with doodles of hearts and rainbows all around it. I can’t even concentrate to class sometimes because I often day dream things about us that’ll never happen in real life. I like him to the point where I think of stupid ways to start a conversation with him and then I practice it my head over and over again but in the end, I never get the chance to actually use those ways because I was too shy to talk to him. I like him to the point where I’m actually writing all these embarrassing stuffs that I tend to do because of him.
But now, I need to forget him, to erase all feelings, because I know for a fact that he would never like me back, he’s not the kind of guy I’m supposed to like, and he just did something, which in my opinion, is unacceptable. It’s not going to be easy. Moving on never has been easy. But I have to. It’ll take time but I’ll be able to get over it. For now, let me just release my feelings…in the form of tears.