Jealousy is currently swallowing up every bit of me. I don’t like this feeling. I know, I don’t even have the right to be jealous at all, cause I’m just a friend, I guess. But I can’t help but feel that way. It’s crawling under my skin making it harder for me to avoid it.
*sigh* I envy those girls, they’re good enough for you. Me? I’m no way compared to them. Ugh. I’m so insecure. I can never be proud of myself. Tsk. I’m a loser. :(
The hardest part is when I’m in the verge of getting this stupid infatuation out of my head, there you go and do things which send butterflies in my stomach.All my efforts in forgetting you, suddenly vanished like that. I hate that I cannot hate you. I hate that you have to make me feel so special, that you make me smile each day.
Why does the same thing happen all over again? It’s like we have this routine that we follow everyday. I wait for you to talk to me but you don’t. Then sometimes I see you accidentally looking at me or something. Then what happens again?
Okayy. I forgot. Hehe. Silly me, my mind’s preoccupied right now. It’s not working properly. Anyway, yeah, I hope we can talk normally again. Like whenever we’re in..never mind. :)
I just wanted to thank you for being there or else I would’ve been dark and gloomy all day. I had fun. Though jealousy is still present and is currently biting every bit of me, but you made my day. =)
But still, you’re getting me confused. You give me this “what-the-heck-are-you-doing-with-that-guy?!” look, but I don’t know if it’s like that at all or I’m just wishing it is “that”. And then after doing that you flirt with other girls. =(
I don’t know anymore, but oh well. At least I had a chance to talk to you today.
So yeah. I want to talk to you but when I’m about to, I get shy and all that. And sometimes you just got a lot of girls around you that I lose my confidence to talk. And I get jealous. A lot. So maybe this day, I’ll try approaching you, then just act normal, huh? If I can. =)
Oh yeah, the way you say things like “that” makes me like you more. So stop that. If you don’t want me to get hurt.
The reason why I wait for you to say hello to me- why I do not ever say hello to you, first- is because I just love knowing- I love the feeling I get from knowing- that you were thinking about me today.
Possibly because you make me laugh over the most trivial things on the planet. Maybe it’s because you over-exaggerate the way you say my name. Could it be because you’re unlike anyone else I’ve even remotely had a conversation with. But I think it’s just because you’re you. You’re silly, ridiculously random and just honestly and irrevocably you. But I’m wondering. Is the feeling mutual? Am I going insane and over thinking the situation? Possibly. But for now, I’m content with just this — whatever “this” is.